Truth is, married people should practice safer s**x too. It is important. Have fun practicing safe s**x.
Safer s**x means s**xual contact that:
Shows respect; is pleasurable; is freely consented to by both partners, reduces the risk of passing on any infections, reduces the risk of an unwanted pregnancy and is safe emotionally.
S**x is never an obligation – each partner has the right to say no. If a partner asks you to stop, you must respect this.
Many young people know that if they are considering having s**x, it’s really important to make sure it is safer s**x. It isn’t always easy, and it can be embarrassing, but talking about safer s**x is a sign of respect.
The law:
In Nigeria, if you are 18 or over, you can have s**x with another person: As long as that person is also 18 or over, and he or she agrees to have s**x with you.
It is not an offence to have s**x with someone who is under 18 if you are legally married to that person.
If you are under 18, it is against the law for a person in a position of ‘care and authority’ (for example, a teacher) to have s**x, or to try to have s**x with you.
What is safer s**x?
Safer s**x means s**xual contact that does not involve any blood, semen or vaginal fluids being passed between partners.
We say safer s**x rather than safe s**x because s**x can’t be guaranteed 100% safe. The best way to have safe s**x is to be in a relationship where neither of you has s**x outside that relationship and where you are both free of any s**xually transmitted infections (STIs), and you use contraception if you do not want to become pregnant. Some people say the only form of safe s**x is to abstain totally (not have s**x at all) but most people would see this as being unrealistic.
Even when using condoms for protection, some STIs such as genital warts and genital herpes can be passed on because the condom does not always cover the affected area.
Being ready for s**x
Young people can feel a lot of pressure to have s**x. Friends may tell you they’re all doing it (sometimes even if they’re not). You see it on the TV and in the movies.
You might also feel pressured by a particular person. Or you might feel that it’s expected of you from a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Practising safer s**x means looking after yourself emotionally. This means that you choose when to have s**x and when not to, who with and how you have s***x.
Safer s***x activities
Some safer s**xual activities (no exchange of body fluids):
Massage, hugging, touching.
Masturbation.
Social kissing (kissing with closed mouth).
Rubbing against each other.
Fantasy (just thinking about s**x).
Kissing the body (clean skin, not s**xual areas or open sores).
Saying no to anything you don’t feel comfortable about.
It is often assumed that these kinds of activities are only a lead-up to s**xual intercourse. Many people find that these safer forms of s**xual activity are more than enough to express their emotions and their love for each other.
Some probably safer s**xual activities (there is not likely to be an exchange of body fluids)
French kissing (open mouth, as long as there are no sores and as long as the kiss isn’t so hard it draws blood)
S***x with a condom.
Some definitely not safe s**xual activities:
Anything that allows blood contact.
S***x without a condom (unless you are in a relationship where you can be sure that your partner does not have an STI, and you are using some form of contraception if you do not want to become pregnant).
Using condoms that have been used before, or continuing to use one after it has broken.
Getting body fluids, eg. semen, menstrual blood or urine, inside the body of the other person, eg. vagina, anus or on open cuts.
If safer s**x does not happen
Sometimes, despite your best intentions, safer s***x does not happen every time. Some people may be less careful if they’ve been drinking, and others may forget in the heat of the moment. Don’t give up on safer s***x because of a slip-up. Keep practising safer s**x. You may not have been infected when you had unprotected s**x, but to continue having unprotected s**x makes it more likely that you will become infected.
If you have unprotected s**x, get tested for s**xually transmitted infections such as Chlamydia. Chlamydia for example is common, easy to treat and can cause serious problems if not treated. Have STI testing regularly.
HIV
If you have unprotected s**x with someone who is HIV positive, see a doctor as soon as possible. PEP (post exposure prophylaxis) started within 72 hours of exposure (the earlier the better) reduces the likelihood of getting infected with HIV
Negotiating safer s**x
Starting a conversation with a partner (or potential partner) about safer s**x can be tough.
It is often difficult to be assertive when negotiating safer s**x.
You could worry about your partner’s reaction
You might worry about not knowing how to use a condom.
Many cultures don’t speak openly about s**x and this can make it difficult because you’re just not used to talking about it.
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